Dirty Santa Gifts (Adults Only): Funny Picks Everyone Fights For

Dirty Santa is where good taste goes on vacation. These gifts are bold, loud, and absolutely not for the faint of heart. If you want the whole room talking, this list will get you there.

If you want a gift that gets a reaction, these ten picks do the job. All adults only. All guaranteed to stir the room. If you’ve never played Dirty Santa before or want a refresher, here’s a quick guide to how the game actually works.

1. Gingerbread Man Tree Ornament - He Is Hung

This one is the perfect opener because it fools everyone for a split second. It looks festive and innocent until someone spots the detail that changes everything. The reaction builds fast from a quiet “wait, what?” into full table laughter. It’s the kind of Dirty Santa gift people try to steal even if they swear they won’t play aggressively. It sets the tone for the rest of the game.

2. Wash Your Nuts Soap on a Rope

A reliable grown up gag gift that lands every single time. The joke is obvious the moment someone pulls it from the box, but the best part is that it’s still completely functional. People love opening something that makes them laugh and then realizing they can take it home and use it. That balance between silly and useful is what makes it a favorite in Dirty Santa games. It keeps the mood light, gets passed around, and usually becomes one of the most stolen items on the table.

3. Dirty Underwear Safe

Did I say dirty? This one is so dirty it might even stink. The second it comes out of the wrapping, the whole room pauses. You can see everyone trying to decide whether to laugh, squint, or hold it at arm’s length like it might actually be dangerous. Someone always leans in for a closer look, someone else backs up in fake horror, and that mix of reactions sets the whole table off. The hesitation is what makes it so good. It creates a slow build that turns into a loud laugh, and by then everyone wants to pick it up just to see how real it looks. It becomes the kind of gift people talk about long after the game is over.

4. Naughty Banana Magnet

Small but unforgettable. This silly little banana looks harmless at first, just a tiny fridge magnet you’d glance at and move on. Then people notice the shape and that mischievous, almost evil little face, and everything changes. The expression is what pulls everyone in. Someone picks it up, someone else holds it closer to the light, and before long it’s being passed around the room because no one wants to miss the joke. It sticks to the fridge, locker, or file cabinet like it owns the place, and people end up laughing every time they see it again. For something so small, it has a huge amount of personality and becomes one of those gifts that keeps earning reactions long after the exchange is over.

5. Edible Candy Bra and Bonus G String

This is where the game starts getting spicy. It’s bold, sweet, and impossible to open without everyone making a comment. People laugh, people blush, and someone inevitably holds it up like a prop. It hits the room fast, gets everyone talking, and keeps the game rolling. And no, there will be no modeling at this time, although there is always one brave soul who pretends to think about it.

6. Dirty Dozen Fortune Cookies

Even unopened, this package creates a buzz. People see the label, start imagining what the fortunes say, and the guessing becomes part of the fun. It’s the kind of gift that gets stolen several times because everyone wants the reveal moment later. Once the game is over and the cookies finally get cracked open, the fortunes start flying around the room and the joke keeps going. It turns into a group activity instead of a single gift.

7. Pigs Salt and Pepper Shakers Making Bacon

I have found this one comes with a steal and a squeal. People look at the pigs, then the pose clicks, and you can watch the ah ha moment move around the room. These pigs are right on the edge of being completely over the top, but the fact that they actually work as salt and pepper shakers keeps them in the safe zone. That mix of wild and functional is what makes them so entertaining. Once the joke lands, they get passed around, pointed at, and almost always stolen several times before the game wraps up.

8. Sexy Lingerie Apron

This one definitely gets modeled, but folks need to wait until the game ends. The moment the apron shows up, the whole room wakes up. People lean in, shake their heads, and start trading comments because it’s impossible to ignore. The design is bold enough to draw attention from across the table, but still lighthearted enough to keep the game fun. It fits the Dirty Santa vibe perfectly and usually becomes the gift everyone keeps an eye on during the stealing rounds.

Funny, flirty, and very on brand for Dirty Santa. I

9. Reindeer Thong for Men

It is good that Aunt Karen is not playing, as this one would get a very loud gasp. The moment the Reindeer Thong shows up, the room hits a pause while everyone tries to decide whether to politely laugh or hide their face. Then someone points out the red nose, another person comments on the antlers, and the jokes start flying. It’s bold, silly, and impossible to ignore. Once the game heats up, this is the item people hover over because they want the story, "maybe" not the practicality. Please no modeling!

10. Lovable Larry Cat

People never forget Larry, the most ballsy of all gifts. His bold, unbothered expression stops people in their tracks and sparks a round of confused grins. Someone usually mutters, “What is that supposed to be?” and that’s all it takes for everyone to start chiming in. Larry walks the line between cute and questionable, which makes him one of the most talked about gifts of the night. People can’t resist picking him up and examining him like he’s a rare species. Whatever he is, he’s unforgettable, and he’s by far the most cuddly gift to take home when the game ends.

Dirty Santa isn’t about the perfect gift. It’s about the moment the whole room bursts into laughter, the steals that get a little too competitive, and the stories people keep telling long after the wrapping hits the floor. These picks guarantee you’ll bring something unforgettable, whether you’re aiming for shock value, pure comedy, or a little harmless chaos.

If you want to plan your strategy or brush up on the basics before the big night, take a quick look at the rules and make sure you’re ready for the fun. Then grab your gift, show up with confidence, and enjoy the reactions. Dirty Santa only comes once a year. Make yours count.

FAQ

What makes a gift a true Dirty Santa pick?

Anything that gets a strong reaction without crossing the line. Funny, bold, a little inappropriate, and unforgettable. The goal is to make the room react, not to give the perfect gift.

Do Dirty Santa gifts have to be opened during the game?

Not always. Some groups allow opening, others stick to steals only. The key is agreeing on the rules beforehand so no one is surprised when the chaos starts.

Are these gifts meant to be useful or just funny?

The best Dirty Santa gifts are a mix. Something that’s funny in the moment but still has a little function tends to get stolen more than once.

Where can I find the gifts in this guide?

Every item featured here comes from Naughty Gnome, along with plenty of other adults-only gag gifts that fit the Dirty Santa spirit. You can browse the full collection at naughtygnome.de.

How much should you spend on a Dirty Santa gift?

Most groups keep it between ten and twenty five dollars. Cheap enough to be funny, but enough room to pick something unforgettable.

What’s the best strategy for Dirty Santa?

Bring something that will get people talking. The more reactions it gets, the more likely it is to be stolen. And if you really want to win, show up early, stand where you can watch everyone’s faces, and steal at the perfect moment.

Is Dirty Santa the same as a regular Christmas tradition?

Not exactly. Dirty Santa is the rowdy cousin of the classic family gift exchange. If you’re looking for something more traditional to pair with your holiday celebrations, Reader’s Digest has a helpful list of Best Christmas traditions families love to start.